Road Map For A Happy Marriage – Part 2

Last week I talked about the road map for a happy marriage – part 1.

I know I left you in suspense wondering…what was the gift we gave?

 The Five Love Languages

How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate

By: Gary Chapman



Men Are Like Waffles
Women Are Like Spaghetti

Understanding and Delighting in Your Differences

By: Bill and Pam Farrel


Men, do you want your wives to desire you  and be more intimate more often?
Women, do you want your husbands to be more loving and understanding?

Read these books!

Ryan and I have been married now for 7 1/2 years.
We do not have a perfect marriage; we are not perfect people.

However, we are both committed to each other and to God.

In an effort to strengthen our marriage and honor God, we have continually read many books on marriage and intimacy, attended marriage seminars, and are involved in a weekly bible study focused primarily on marriage from a biblical perspective.  We also meet with our mentors – who’ve been married themselves now for 51 years!

Of the many marriage books we’ve read, the two I listed above have really been a paradigm shift for our marriage.  It’s given us a road map, or at least given us a common language, for our marriage.  It has helped open the lines of communication for us, and to better understand our spouse and their needs.

From Gary Chapman’s, The Five Love Languages, we learned that:

  • Ryan’s primary love language is:
    Words of Affirmation

    and he showed love by:
    Acts of Service

  • My primary love language is:
    Quality Time

    and I showed love by:
    Physical Touch

You can easily see how we used to have problems expressing and receiving our love for each other!

As I desire primarily quality time, when Ryan would try to express his love by doing acts of service (ie. cooking, laundry, etc.), I would feel hurt thinking that he didn’t love me since he wouldn’t spend time with me.

On the other hand, when I would try to show my affection to my husband with physical touch, he would feel reserved because he wanted to hear how I loved him and appreciated him.

Now that we better understand each others’ love languages, we both make an effort to speak the love language that the other prefers to hear.  Ryan makes an effort to just be near me, and I try to make more of an effort to verbally express my love and appreciation of him.

And by the way, my hubby still does a lot of acts of service - that is just his nature.  But now that I understand that better…let me tell you…there is nothing sexier than a man that vacuums!

We hope our friends, Chad and Juli, find as many nuggets of wisdom from these books as we have!


By the way, I am in no way getting paid for this post in any way. 
I am just providing my heartfelt and honest opinion.

About Tonia

Hi! My name is Tonia. I'm happily married with three great kids - two preschoolers and a teen! With a previous career in software sales, I thrived in my career as a working mom until the birth of my third child. I'm now on a journey to discover how to be content as an "@ home" mom. I've been inspired to become the best wife and mom I can be, where ever that role takes me. I'm eager to try new things, looking for greatness, longing for contentment.
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One Response to Road Map For A Happy Marriage – Part 2

  1. Kathy Cole says:

    Love your website!!! Awesome!!!
    “Men are like waffles and women are like spaghetti” love it!!!
    I’m praying about starting up a Women’s group at church “Seasonedsisters”.